Wrestling with What Ifs

I'm one of those people that has post event conversations in my head replaying everything that was said and done thinking, "well had a I said this..." or "if I did this instead of this..." Of course there is no way to go backwards in time (that we know of at least or the government is sharing) and we can't change what ifs.

For the past six weeks I have been wrestling with the what if of if my Monday would have gone differently. I normally went running on Monday mornings with my neighbor Abby. What could have happened had we done our normal run? What if I would have have waited until Wednesday to go into the doctors office when my doctor had his next available appointment? What if I would have gone to work, put in my eight hours and then gone to kickboxing at the REC like I did every Monday?

I have no answers to the what ifs in any of these situations. I'm glad that I listened to my mother, did not go running, went to the doctor on Monday and was unable to go to kickboxing, because all the answers to my what ifs seem very grim. I'm glad to be alive and almost back to normal, so I won't focus on the what ifs, but rather on the what can I do nows.